willyoubemyfriendsteratmyspace.com

Does anyone remember what people used to do with their time when they were bored? Hell, back in the day (which according to Dane Cook was a Wednesday) when we were bored, we'd go outside, go on biking trails, beat the shit out of each other, or just masturbate. But no, things have changed and the universe is not the same as it once was. Kids today (damn I sound like I'm the oldest 22 year old in the world) now have the Internet to connect to one another in artificial ways we could only dream about in the nineties. Where once poking actually involved a physical activity now it is just a mouse click away.

Networking used to entail awkward school dances with shitty music, corny gimmicks, and being picked up by 9:30 by your mom in her mini van. Now there's a social networking for just about everyone be it the desperate: hot or not.com, or the academic: facebook.com. And while these sites are designed to bring us together, are they really serving their purposes? Of course not. More and more we are seeing these networking tools simply reinforcing our preconceived notions of who our friends are and allowing ourselves to perpetuate the pattern to the Nth degree. And yes, I am currently a member of such prestigious networks as facebook (the college years), my space (the post-college years), and friendster (the dark place I don't wish to discuss anymore). But what has my membership in these groups taught me? Absolutely nothing. On myspace I can rank my friends (or at least the top 8 or so) but beyond that friendship is a pretty loose term. Yes I have some of my closest friends on these pages, but among my friends I am happy to count Tom, Borat, Jon Favreau, and Dane Cook among my "friends." It's remarkable when I can place those people who I hang with on a consistent basis next to fictional characters and comics who probably wouldn't give me the time of day on the street.

At the end of the day, these sites were established and run on the basis that allowing people to connect would strengthen our cultural fabric, expanding our otherwise slim view of the world and allow us to keep track of people we other wise might lose touch with due to geographical distances. But I'm beginning to think that’s maybe not such a bad thing. Because if I get poked one more time by Karen, the girl who I got stuck kissing in a spin-the-bottle game gone horribly wrong, I might need to break off her online finger and shove it where they don't write code. Times change, friendships lapse and ultimately I'd like to forget certain people.

And what I hate even more is those who constantly use the site who lob complaints against me for not keeping my page updated to the fullest extent. I may be unemployed, living with my parents, but that doesn't mean I want to spend every waking hour of my life ensuring that both myspace and facebook are as up to date as possible. I'll save that to the people who use these sites as procrastination tools.

Alright, well I hate to cut this blog short but I have some work to do on my myspace profile.

And remember you can't spell friendster without F-I-E-N-D, or was it friend?